


and the things that you never did have become your youth somehow

by tangentiallly



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: Dewey Denouement (Not Pictured), Don’t copy to another site, Gen, Pre-Canon, set before b&b left / tried to leave VFD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 20:15:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21042137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangentiallly/pseuds/tangentiallly
Summary: Because of course that was a lie. Of course Frank cared, more than he would prefer to, and even more than he pretended to. Because Bertrand knew him - the real version of him, not just “one of the triplets”, (or even, one of the ‘twins’ certain people’s eyes), not just “the firefighting side one”, not just a fucking role.





	and the things that you never did have become your youth somehow

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: I don't own ASOUE
> 
> title from Regina Spektor's song Older and Taller

“Listen, I don’t care if you want to cut _me_ off or avoid me after leaving the organization,” Frank said, which was of course a lie, but he doubted whether it was a lie or a truth really mattered at this point. Not when it wasn’t going to change anything. “But Dewey - he lives in a underwater library and rarely ever gets to see anybody. That’s a different level of isolation then simply being stuck in a hotel. You shouldn’t just - cut him off completely. Promise me you’ll visit him.”

Because of course that was a lie. Of course Frank cared, more than he would prefer to, and even more than he pretended to. Because Bertrand knew him - the real version of him, not just “one of the triplets”, (or even, one of the ‘twins’ certain people’s eyes), not just “the firefighting side one”, not just a fucking _role_.

Because Bertrand had made a mix-tape for him on his seventeenth birthday that had handpicked songs different from the ones for his brothers. Because he knew Frank’s preferences for tea, for breakfast, for defense carding when playing bridge, for poetry, for organizing the guest recordings of the hotel. Because Bertrand said dumb things to cheer him up such as “welcome to the ‘heartbroken by a Snicket club’ we have t-shirts here” which had somehow _actually_ worked and made him laugh the first time that week in that depressing night nine months ago. They were all just little things, really, not if any of them on its own was any big deal, maybe, but they accumulated to something bigger he didn’t know how to explain why it would hurt to lose that. _Friends drift apart all the time, get a fucking grip_, Frank told himself.

Bertrand hesitated, looking conflicted. He was silent for a moment and did not say anything, but for a moment something flashed across his eyes, something that almost seemed to say “would you really not care if I cut you off?” It was a quick moment but then the look was gone from his eyes. Frank caught it anyway.

In return, Frank decided to give Bertrand a look that he hoped perfectly, exactly conveyed “would you really stay if I said I care?” The hidden meaning was, of course, “because if yes then I’ll admit it in a heartbeat.”

Bertrand’s mouth thinned into a tight line, and he finally said, “Yeah. Okay.”

“Promise me,” Frank repeated. “You have to _promise_.” He had to make sure.

Because the truth was, Frank knew Bertrand as well as Bertrand knew him. He knew Bertrand mostly avoided making promises because he was afraid of breaking them and losing trust and wanted to prevent making those promises in the first place. But he also knew Bertrand had never once broken a promise he had actually made. He knew how conflict-averse Bertrand could get at times and what measures he would taken to avoid direct conflicts, and how that totally definitely absolutely included techniques like completely avoiding the other person when he considered necessary. But Frank also knew Bertrand, amidst of avoiding conflict and being at least passably pleasant and polite to most people, had a particular genuine soft spot for Dewey. Frank couldn’t say for sure if Dewey knew this too, because Dewey wasn’t the most observant in this aspect, but if Dewey didn’t know, Frank wasn’t about to let Dewey find out by the ache of realizing something’s gone, he wasn’t going to let Dewey find out by not realizing something existed and only knew it had once been there after losing it.

He watched as Bertrand visibly swallowed and then said, “I promise I’ll visit him.”

Frank exhaled. “Thank you.” He wasn’t someone used to saying ‘thank you’, but he decided the occasion called for it. He wanted to say “I’ll miss you” too, but he wasn’t the kind of person to say that either, even if the occasion like right now seemed particularly fitting.

From Bertrand’s expression, though, Frank suspected he had caught it anyway.

After all, they did know each other a little too well.

**Author's Note:**

> [come say hi on tumblr](https://beatricebidelaire.tumblr.com)


End file.
